Saturday, January 29, 2011

Today the marathon begins.

13 chapters. about 20 pages each. 1 week.
Welcome to my nightmare. Coffee will become my best friend, closely followed by tea and probably chocolate. I haven't even started and I'm already sleepy.
On the long run, this will all pay off.
I just need to stick to my schedule and everything will be alright.
It will all be over soon.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I can't even say I've been giving it my best. I did study. They kind of study that mostly consists of daydreaming and long coffee breaks. Call a friend, see how they're doing. Taking naps and waking up not knowing where you are or what day it is. That kind of studying. And still, it payed off... so far.
She tells me not to underestimate myself, that this is just a phase I'm supposed to get over as quickly as possible. I would love it if she was right. But I keep wondering, what if I would've gotten what I wanted? Things would be so different than they are now... but would I be happy? Would I be doing half of the things they expect me to do now? Would there be any sorts of rewards?
"It's a law: no matter how much you have, you keep wanting more." People usually have very annoying conversations on the public transport. Those are the moments in which I truly appreciate the value of an IPod.  But today I overheard someone saying that. How sad is it that we're never satisfied with what we get? There's always something better (optimism?). But there's always something worse too (pessimism?).

Thursday, January 20, 2011

We’re all in this together. But we’re not actually. Not at all.
I dread a lot of things. I worry most of the time about things that make me feel old. The kind of things that keep you awake at night but that are still there in the morning, waiting for your mind to come up with even more questions. 
My mom says that our problems seem smaller in the morning. That the night just has a certain something that makes things seem a lot worse then they actually are. I’m starting to see no difference between my nights and my mornings. 

Friday, January 7, 2011


Winter after the holidays seems so pointless. It loses its magic and it suddenly becomes depressing. I never know what to do with myself. 
A new year. New goals? Maybe. But it's hard to think of that. Overestimating myself leads to nothing good. Underestimating myself - closer to reality. A new year. New changes? That's what everyones' goals imply. But am I the only one who thinks changes are too often bad ones? That's what makes me not trust them. 
The start of a new year is never a good time of year. Follow my blog with Bloglovin